I really planned to update something else this weekend but I guess I'll have to quickly draft this movie review out because I have no idea why I went and watched 50 shades of grey.. Really. I should have seen this coming wtf.
I was really anticipating it to be a relatively okay movie. Die die also must watch even when Rotten Tomatoes says no. Well, I've learnt my lesson.
NEXT TIME, LISTEN TO ROTTEN TOMATOES!
The movie was BADDDDD! It's like Twilight all over again. Actually, scratch that, Twilight might be slightly better. It was the most agonizing 200 minutes in my life that I wish I've used it in like doing something else like.. washing my neighbour's cars, cutting a grass field with a pair of scissors or maybe start watching some actual porn wtf.
Now what makes it so bad...
#1 There isn't an actual storyline
I mean come on. It's just about a guy trying to get a girl to have wild sex with him. And in the process he keeps showering her with gifts and relatively normal sex. It has no purpose to the entire story. It was more like a I-want-you-but-no kinda thing. Beating around the bushes for 2 hours plus that's what it is! Because there's no storyline it is so not memorable. I felt so empty after watching the movie. More like dazed and fill with HUHHHHHHHH thoughts.
#2 There isn't an actual hot guy
Another buzz I heard about 50 shades of grey is that the guy is hot. OH REALLY?! How is Jamie Dornan hot in any way? I mean I get Channing Tatum and Johnny Depp but him?! Even Jamie Oliver is hotter than him please. PLUS Oliver cooks really well. Do not understand what is so hot about him. Is it because Christian Grey is portraying a young rich dude from Seattle?
Look at this. How is he hot?
Well yea he's good looking but erm... not hot enough to make me go all head over heels for. Like not one you fantasize and hope that such character exists in real life. Even he's abs aren't THAT attractive either. But in the movie he is supposed to be super irresistible.. Not buying it at all.
#3 The love doesn't make sense
Let me get it straight.. The supposed to be hot billionaire fell in love with Anastasia in a supposed to be 10 minutes interview and went on to stalk her in the hardware shop where she works at so he can have sex with her. And Anastasia had sex with him and at the end of the movie she declared that she has fallen in love with Christian? So were they in love from Day 1 or not? Perhaps, Christian liked her cause she fell, forgot her pencil and bit her lips. Liked not loved.
Christian Grey is also basically a butthole who doesn't give a shit about Anastasia's feelings. Fly in all the way to her house just to reassure her that she's special to him but after sex he 'orders' her to sleep alone and doesn't allow her to touch him. Okay I get that he had a "rough start in his early life" but one minute he shows deep affection, and throws her away like a trash in the next. So what do you want? The message he is sending out is so confusing.
Their love is soooo 'special' I completely do not get it!
#4 The actor and actress
Erm sorry but Jamie Dornan doesn't look like a convincing billionaire and Dakota Johnson doesn't exactly look seducing I guess. She looked blur la which I think she is supposed to (sorry didn't read the book and it is now banned in Malaysia). And her lip biting... WHY SO NOT SEXY ONE...I thought she was just excessively fidgeting..
At least it looks sexy on the poster
#5 The sex
Maybe I need to do some research on this dominant and submissive concept, but to me it doesn't look comfortable. Christian Grey looks like he had a bad day and wanted to abuse another woman to feel better. It's not like he is pleasured or anything. Like at the end of the movie, he had a bad day and he wanted to 'punish' her so badly?
DOMESTIC ABUSE LEHHH!
Someone call the police please. Lol. And Anastasia looks so scared the entire time. Doesn't look like all trust and pleasure to me.
Okay. What I'm trying to say is. The movie sucks. No romance, no storyline, no nothing! Got boobs la if that's what you're after wtf. Really, I need to watch Titanic again to neutralize this horrible so called romantic movie.
Okay enough ranting. Gonna sign off now. Have a great day ahead!
