Hello everyone!
So the other day I was in the car and I heard a random radio advertisement about how teachers have been doing a great job in nurturing future leaders and they should be appreciated for their hard work. My first thought was okay I kinda agree. Teaching is a difficult job and I am the number one person that's not suitable for the job because I am super impatient. If I were to teach perhaps I'll teach university student where I don't need to babysit them.
The reason for this post is because, unlike me who is really sure that I am not cut out to be a good teacher, there are teachers out there who didn't realize that. Teacher's day brought back a very scary traumatizing experiencing when I was a kid and until now I am still very affected by it. It didn't make me a better person but it definitely ruined my self esteem.
So..
It all started way back... Such a long, long time back...
Way back in the days when the grass was still green and the pond was still wet and the clouds were still clean...
Opps, flashback-ed to the wrong memory. Just a little lame joke to lighten up what would be a depresing post.
So..
When I was 11....
Second last year of my primary school year and thanks to this teacher of mine, I was left with a very traumatizing experience. I still can't figure out why would she do that to a 11 year old kid. I bet she went home feeling really good about herself.
I am not exactly the most lovable or adorable kid out there. In fact I am super talkative and that's what every teacher would say to my parents during PTA. Well not like I can help it. I just like talking and I was too young to know when I should talk and when I should not talk. Perhaps because I am a middle child and the attention was always on both my sisters so when I get the chance I'll just blast everything out.
But otherwise, I am a very good student. I did my homework, I aced all my quizes and I am always punctual. In fact, you could call me the teachers' pet (Plural. Many teachers. Haha). I even had a very special bond with my English teacher and she always treat me with food, games and even bought me special souvenirs when she went on a trip. Oh how I adore her!
But otherwise, I am a very good student. I did my homework, I aced all my quizes and I am always punctual. In fact, you could call me the teachers' pet (Plural. Many teachers. Haha). I even had a very special bond with my English teacher and she always treat me with food, games and even bought me special souvenirs when she went on a trip. Oh how I adore her!
And here comes a rotten teacher who lacked patience and dedication. She was hostile towards me but as a 11 year old I basically didn't recognise her hostility and still tried my very best to win her heart.
I don't remember exactly what I did that agitated her so badly until she had to do that to me. It happened really suddenly and for absolutely no reason. Well in my head there's no apparent reason because I'm just being me. And the me in nature is very annoying I guess.
I don't remember exactly what I did that agitated her so badly until she had to do that to me. It happened really suddenly and for absolutely no reason. Well in my head there's no apparent reason because I'm just being me. And the me in nature is very annoying I guess.
I vaguely remembered she was in class. I don't even remember what subject she was teaching. So I conclude that she sucks at whatever she's teaching because it did not leave any impression at all. It was a Q&A session and I remembered many children other than me are eagerly wanting to answer her question. I think I am one of the enthusiasts student and somehow she just looked so annoyed and she asked a question to my class..
Who in this class hates her?
The 'her' she's referring to was me. She called out my name and immediately I was so shocked. But, she didn't stop there.
Raise your hand if you hate her.
Yes, those were her exact words. To a 11 year old. I often ask myself what heinous sin did I commit that warranted that kind of punishment.
And to make things worse, she emphasised that those that don't raise their hand will be questioned why. And of course, almost everyone in the class of 50 odd students raised their hand. Not because they truly did hate me, but because they wanted to avoid being questioned.
Can you imagine how terrified I was? Only one of my best friends didn't raise her hand. The teacher questioned her and she shook her head and said no, she doesn't hate me. Then the teacher made an annoyed face. Possibly marking my best friend for future punishment.
At that time, another one of my best friends turned around and wrote on my table with her pencil the word terpaksa (forced in Malay). I nodded and continued to keep my head down.
But that teacher kept on going. She then proudly proclaimed
And to make things worse, she emphasised that those that don't raise their hand will be questioned why. And of course, almost everyone in the class of 50 odd students raised their hand. Not because they truly did hate me, but because they wanted to avoid being questioned.
Can you imagine how terrified I was? Only one of my best friends didn't raise her hand. The teacher questioned her and she shook her head and said no, she doesn't hate me. Then the teacher made an annoyed face. Possibly marking my best friend for future punishment.
At that time, another one of my best friends turned around and wrote on my table with her pencil the word terpaksa (forced in Malay). I nodded and continued to keep my head down.
But that teacher kept on going. She then proudly proclaimed
See how many people hate you? Aren't you embarrassed?My memory of the happenings after that is a blank. But it was there and then that I learnt that the friends that I eat and play with.. Out of 50.. Only 1.5 will stay true to you when you need it.
For a week I was so reluctant to go to school. I only hung out with that 2 friends that I still trusted. I did not mention it to my parents because Asian being Asian they will think I did something so impossibly wrong that the teacher had to do that to me. Yes my parents are very teacher-centric and it will somehow turn out to be my fault!
I didn't want to be labeled as the 'troublemaker' in the family. As it is, I am already fighting for affection with my siblings so getting a smudge on the record will certainly do me no good. In hindsight, I wonder how did I manage to process all that.
I didn't want to be labeled as the 'troublemaker' in the family. As it is, I am already fighting for affection with my siblings so getting a smudge on the record will certainly do me no good. In hindsight, I wonder how did I manage to process all that.
I was down for a short period but kids being kids, I quickly forgave and forgot that incident.
This is the exact kind of person who shouldn't become a teacher. No matter how much you hate the student, you cannot take it out on them. You are the adult here, so act like one. By singling me out, all you did was permanently scar me for life. Possibly even the other students there then. Even now, slightly more than a decade later, I am still experiencing low self esteem inflicted by you.
Now why blog it out? Because I want people to know how some teachers do not deserve one bit of appreciation.
If you're a teacher reading this, please remember the reason why you became a teacher in the first place. And I hope that reason is to nurture and educate, not pick on and discriminate. Also, your words means a lot, even if you don't think that way. So please, speak gently and kindly, and become the best guidepost to success you can be.
And if by chance that teacher is reading this, I still don't like you. But I turned out well. I didn't cut my wrist. I didn't fail in life. In fact, I am doing really great now and you... Will forever be remembered as the most horrible person I've met.
Now why blog it out? Because I want people to know how some teachers do not deserve one bit of appreciation.
Not all teachers are equal.If you're a parent reading this, I urge you to take time to understand your child. Don't be quick to scold and yell at them. If you are unable to give your undivided attention to your child, then please don't make one. Even more so when you have two or more children. If you cant give your attention to all of them, then you definitely have too many.
If you're a teacher reading this, please remember the reason why you became a teacher in the first place. And I hope that reason is to nurture and educate, not pick on and discriminate. Also, your words means a lot, even if you don't think that way. So please, speak gently and kindly, and become the best guidepost to success you can be.
And if by chance that teacher is reading this, I still don't like you. But I turned out well. I didn't cut my wrist. I didn't fail in life. In fact, I am doing really great now and you... Will forever be remembered as the most horrible person I've met.
To all the teachers (other than this one) I wish you guys longevity and thank you all for moulding me into everything I am today. Madam Chong, Ms Tan (she trained my photographic memory), and all the other teachers out there that never gave up in me.
Happy Teacher's Day
The end.
